I'm here in Terminal E of Logan, waiting to board on my overnight to Paris! I got all nervous this afternoon and evening, and I don't know if it was the normal nevousness I get before air travel (will I get detained at TSA? Possibly!!!) or nervousness for my adventure. It's probably both.
Packing is hard for me, because I love stuff (specifically, my stuff.) I'd spent days packing, but weeks and months thinking about what I'd pack. You see, I absolutely detest being unprepared (or underprepared), which makes me want to bring everything I could possibly foresee needing in the next two months (which, as it turns out, is quite a lot.) This is also how I approach life—I like to have everything that I need with me! And while I generally like my stuff, I hate that there's so much of it. I'm an expert at packing up my stuff to fit into the space that I have. I joked that my 1BR in DC was like a submarine, where everything had a specific place and it wouldn't all fit unless it was put away. Part of the reason I wanted to travel was to force myself to do with less. For so long I've had the convenience of a large apartment and my parents house in the suburbs with everything I could possibly need, that now I've gotten scared about how I could do without it all. But precisely because I feel so attached is why I want to break away from it all.
But! I managed to fit everything for my trip into my backpack and one (heavy) rolly suitcase. Even though I agonized over what to bring, I'm weirdly excited about having limited choices, about not having to spend a lot of time or energy on what to wear. It will (theoretically) leave more room for other thoughts, which is good, as I'm sure I'll have a lot on my mind.
It's odd that after years and years (literally, I've been wanting to do this since I was 18) that I'm finally traveling. Traveling seemed so momentous, so impossibly radical for so long, but now I'm struck by how simple it is, really. I booked tickets, I quit my job, I rented my aparmtent, I packed my bags, and now I'm almost there.
Time to board!